Conquering the Internet

One of my goals for the year was to improve my cooking competence from just kind of standard to really awesome. I thought about how I was going to do that for awhile and now I think I have a plan. I'm going to try and cook my way through an entire cookbook.

So what does that have to do with conquering the internet you might ask? Well, as it turns out, I'm about to double my presence on the 'nets. My new blog will detail the mess success I encounter while doing this. Without a doubt this new site will increase my readers from 10's to 1,000's, if not more. Right?

Anyway, I'll let you know more as it gets setup. I've also created a new paradox. It's called the paradox of my goals. How am I supposed to lose 15 pounds and cook my way through a book of French bistro cooking? Those things are not exactly complimentary.

Sunday School

Editor's Note: This post is written to follow Colin's guide to writing a blog worth reading. Let me know if you think it's any good. It's certainly going to be longer than normal, that's for sure.

This morning brought the smell of stale coffee and layers upon layers of clothing. Why would one get up at 6:00 AM on a Sunday, drink bad coffee and put on tons of clothes you might ask? To go skiing, that's why. I'd later learn that both of these steps were probably not in my best interest. The first coming as I thought my bladder was going to explode as we drove up what seemed like a 10% grade for about 1,000 miles. The second came as I stood out in the snow sweating. Two layers would probably have been sufficient.

We arrived at our planned destination sometime around 8:00 AM, with two intentions:
1. Go to the bathroom, immediately
2. Buy a lesson, lift ticket, and rental equipment
Somehow, the place we had planned to spend the day had no running water. No running water equals no bathroom. Not a good start. It also apparently means no skiing. So now we were stuck 50 miles west and 1 mile up from where we started, in layers upon layers of clothes, with a bladder about to explode, and no idea where to go. One (early) phone call later and we were on our way down the street.

Finally we got to Arapahoe Basin, did the two things above, got assembled, and went skiing. Kind of. The first hour consisted of me trying to walk in skis, which worked about as well as me trying to ski in skis. A couple of hours later, and we were on our own in the midst of about 25 six year-olds. From what I can figure, that puts me in about the top 4% of the today's graduating class.

Bottom line: Skiing looks like it has some serious potential, if not expenses. Let's be clear about one thing though; skiing seems only to be fun when gravity is doing an necessary work. Not when it's across level ground, and certainly not when it's uphill. Dismount and walk at that point.

Editor's Note: In review, this post has at least one never-used before metaphor, a race report, opinions, and educational value. Not a bad start, eh?

Creepy or Fake?

Scenario: You wake up in the middle of the night and see this spider just hanging above your face.


Did it:

1. Tell a joke only it thought was funny
   
2. Get drunk and have its friends paint on its face
   
3. Lay eggs in your nose

Discuss.

Movie Physics

Here's an interesting article about different movie scenes and their respect for the laws of physics. It's at about the level I still understand, which made me nice and happy. To think after all these years that the bus jump scene from Speed couldn't actually happen. Kind of interesting for me, maybe not so much for you.

Movie Physics!

That's all for now.

Yum! Pig!

Well, I have now lived in Denver for a week. So far, so good but more to come on that later. More important is the pig we ate before leaving. Iberico ham comes from black pigs and is only made in Spain. It's only been available in the US for a few months. We got to try some out the other night at Bar Ferdinand in Philly, which is very good if you care.

Anyway, it's just about the best thing you could put in your mouth. It melts in your mouth like M&Ms, except it's made out of a mud-dwelling, sunburn-getting, curly-tailed animal. It's not cheap though, so if you get to try it, don't get used to it.